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A Letter From Germany: Brexit Britain Is More Insufferable Than Trump’s USA

After an abysmally tiring two years many of us still hope you might wake up from this dreadful nightmare – but if you really must, please just bloody leave already

We still believe you might stay, you know. Some of us do, at least – 33%, according to a recent poll by German public broadcaster ZDF.

We dare hope, some of us, that after an abysmally tiring two years you just might wake up from this dreadful nightmare like it’s all just been a bizarre board game we were all playing.

But you won’t. You’d rather shoot yourself in the foot than admit your faults. Just look at the numbers: up until recently there’s never been a clear majority in the polls for Remain, now, YouGov puts it at 56%All the while, the only thing you can agree upon with Brexit is that you are doing it wrong.

ORB International@ORB_Int

This month’s Brexit Confidence tracker poll shows 80% of UK adults disapprove of the way the government is handling the Brexit negotiations, the highest figure recorded since this tracker poll began in November 2016 

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Even after the proven lies about EU contributions being rerouted to the NHS, the prospect of a tanking economy, a looming health crisis, the political chaos, the fear at the Irish border – none of that seemed to matter until it was too late. You’re still leaving. You will still pull that trigger.

I am sorry that I am not sorry for writing this, but here in Germany, we are absolutely fed up with this national crisis you’re going through – and pulling us through too. We’re even more fed up with you guys than we are with that angry, hateful orange man beyond the pond.

Our problem is that we care. We really do. According to a recent poll, 73% of us Germans want you to stay in the EU with us. 73%! By contrast, in a poll conducted last year by German public broadcaster ARD only 25% of Germans said they trusted the USA. The same poll showed that a majority of Germans are open to closer cooperation within the EU.

So we do care, and we remember. You were there for us in the darkest part of our history, you brought us freedom and democracy and the means to pursue our own destiny as a nation. A pursuit that has made allies of enemies, and friends of foes.

But that is what makes this ordeal so insufferable. Sure, we’re have our differences. We’re not funny, and you have no clue what breakfast is supposed to look like. Our money looks like a cutout rainbow, and yours has an old lady on it that you worship. But different strokes for different folks, right? No reason to just pack up and leave.

Especially when we’re so alike, you and us. Remember how we fought alongside one another in an endless unwinnable war in Afghanistan, only to have our enemies, the Taliban, grow stronger than ever 17 years after we started our mission?

Or how we both really like to flood the Balearic Islands in Spain, getting sunburned and drunk? Oh, the fun we had. Read more

Read also: Brexit: Theresa May says she understands ‘the voice of the country’

A Letter From Germany: Brexit Britain Is More Insufferable Than Trump’s USA